Truth: stress and adversity can pop up anywhere, any time. Just when you think you have it all under control –BAM!– you get hit with something that derails your best intentions and sends you into a tailspin. Things change, pressure. What you do with that pressure and how to move forward are the keys to success.
While we all hit road blocks, there are some people who go about their daily lives seemingly without a worry. What’s their secret to keeping calm while everyone else is struggling to make it through the day? As far as we can tell, it’s pretty simple, really: they’re RESILIENT.
Being resilient doesn’t mean you’re immune to stress and problems, it just means you know how to be tough in the face of them and you can bounce back quickly from setbacks. While resilience might come a little more naturally to some people, there are skills we can all implement to become better at handling change.
One of the most effective ways to boost your resilience is to become more aware of your own thoughts. We all have a constant stream of thoughts running through our minds like a ticker tape. They’re based on our experiences, beliefs, values, everything that makes us unique. We also have a tendency to believe ourselves.
Unfortunately, this means that if our self talk is negative, our self esteem and performance are destined to suffer. Negativity is often sneaky, and can creep into your thinking without you even noticing. When you start to pay attention to your own thoughts, you can start to control them.
If you find yourself in stressful situation, ask yourself, “What am I focusing on right now? How is this making me feel? Is this thought helping me or holding me back?”
If you notice your stress levels rising, take a few deep breaths and check in with yourself to see if your thoughts have a negative tone. One great way to change thought patterns is by using a simple technique. In her article for Psychology Today, Toni Bernhard J.D. suggests using Byron Katie’s inquiry method and ask yourself these four questions when you notice a negative thought:
- Is the thought true?
- Am I absolutely sure that it’s true?
- How do I feel when I think the thought?
- Who would I be without the thought?
Once you no longer believe a negative thought, you can choose to replace it with one that is more positive to boost your productivity and your ability to respond to the situation at hand.
You won’t be able to solve your problem by thinking the same way you did when you created it. As Lolly Daskal says in her article for Inc., “Resilient people do not make the same mistake again and again. They’re willing to be honest about why they failed and they take the time to think about what didn’t work.” In order to be tough enough to look honestly at your failures and actually fix them, you’re going to need to become proficient at letting negative thoughts go quickly, so you can use your mental energy in a way that’s productive.
How do you build resilience for yourself and your team? Share in the comments below!
If you want to learn more about coaching and how to become more resilient, schedule a Complimentary Discovery Call with me.
Click to read more about resiliency and managing stress on DifferenceConsulting.com.